i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
