she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
