His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
