I CAN MOONWALK!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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