We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
