Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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