he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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