how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
