$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
