If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
God I need to hump something, right now.
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