i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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