Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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