Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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