i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
