Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
