It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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