i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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