Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Less talking, more tequila
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
