so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
