I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Randomize
