He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
