should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
