You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
