how can u be prego again
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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