the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
