Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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