I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
