can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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