grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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