I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
