You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
