so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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