Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Randomize
