There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
