ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
