i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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