Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
