i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
