Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
