i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
ok first of all what the fuck
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