All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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