drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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