we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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