and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
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I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
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Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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