he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I think people are normalizing furries
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize