Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
