Don't you send me to vm
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think a kid would responsible me up
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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