Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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