Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
