I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize