if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
