we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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