so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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