She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
