Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
