I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
