I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
