so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she peed on how many people?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
