it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
