D3 body, D1 cock
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
