Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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