five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
